#it sucks ass having to take care of myself
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
⋆˚。⋆୨✧୧˚ 𝑶 𝑪𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏, 𝒎𝒚 𝑪𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏. ˚୨✧୧⋆。˚⋆ (PT. 2)
OKOKOK I MADE THE PART TWO PLS STOP YELLING AT MEEEE
NSFW under the cut. MDNI.
Characters/fandoms: Captain Curly, Mouthwashing Content warnings: Smut, obvi, p in v whatt, curly being a SLOPPYYYYY eater, praise (from you and him), boobs, tits even, curly being 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂, alot of dirty talking, etc. Our boy curlys a bit of perv.
-Manners? What manners?
Curly is a, what do you kids call it... a munch? Yes. If he goes down on you, and he most likely will, he will be SLOPPY with it. I'm talking drooling all over your cunt, licking it from top to bottom, shaking his head side to side and pressing wet kisses to your clit. It's ironic, really, since he's so polite in and out of bed, but he doesn't really care about a mess if it means pleasuring you. What's a little mess? Sheets can be washed.
"Sorry *kiss* about the mess, sweetheart.. *kiss* can't *kiss* help myself."
-Beautiful tits. And rack. Love it.
When asked the question 'ass, tits or thighs,' he's gonna pick tits. He's a titty guy. Sure, your ass and thighs are nice too, and he gives them an equal amount of love, but nothing can beat the feeling of shoving his face into your boobs when he's thrusting in and out of you. It has something to do with hearing your heartbeat and how fast it is, but mostly he just likes suffocating between your twins. And if he's particularly stressed, he'll just set you on his desk and lift your shirt up and go to town. Sucking, squeezing, rubbing, all that. His favorite stress balls. And god forbid the day you get nipple piercings... He's mindlessly playing with the metal with his teeth, enjoying the feeling of the cold brass on his tongue. You'll have to wear bandaids. (which he'll apply, apologizing profusely.)
-Praise me for sin.
Call this man a good boy and he's whining and shaking. It goes both ways with him. He loves getting praised, and he loves praising. A few of his favorites.. "You're doing such a good job." "Look at you, taking everything like a champ." "God, you're gorgeous." "Good girl." "You're so pretty, baby.." "Atta-fuckin-girl." He knows you fold every time for that kind of talk, so he makes sure to say at least one while you're getting naughty. On the other hand, some of his favorites to hear.. "That's a good boy." "Thank you." (Manners.) "I love you so much." "You're too good." "Fuck, that's good." Hearing how good of a job he's doing is only fuel for him to keep going, and gets him hard as a rock. So, use that mouth. (Unless its occupied, wink wink.)
-He babbles when he comes.
When he's right on that edge, he goes a bit dumb. You feel so warm and good, and he's so fucking close, and his brain just loses all ability to form coherent thoughts. So he just mumbles whatever comes out of his mouth in that adorable whiny subby voice. (You know the one.) "Fuuuuck too good too good too good.. baby.. g'na make me come, coming, coming." Or just a chorus of 'yes' over and over. Its really cute because he tries to be quiet with it, but his brain is so broken that he can't control his volume too well. He has to shove his face into your shoulder or a pillow to muffle himself so the crew doesn't overhear.
-Can't stop, won't stop.
Will not give up until you come, no matter how sore his cock is or how cramped his legs are. He wants you to come as many times as possible before the night is over, and he's willing to overwork himself to achieve that. You've told him its okay, but he doesn't really care. Feeling you clench around him and ride out your orgasm is the best thing he's ever felt, so he's gonna have you coming at least 3 times each session. Unless, of course, you're begging him to stop since its too much. He'd never want to hurt you. He'd pull out and lay with you for a while and let your body calm down before starting up again. "Take it easy, angel. I'm right here. It's okay, you're doing so well." (Why does his dirty talk sound like him coaching you through birth?? 😭)
#captain curly smut#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#smut#curly x reader#curly x reader smut#headcannons#we love our boy#pigeonfic⯎
216 notes
·
View notes
Text
Guess who gave herself ✨food poisoning✨
#m rambles#my smoke detector went off while I was cooking last night so I panicked and didn’t double check the temp#and I thought the chicken was maybe a little pink but my dad has said it’s fine in the past#so I just went ahead and ate it#shocker shocker I ended up shitting 8 times today#and I puked for the first time in a decade#so that’s lovely#I woke up at 6am today to get to work early and everything#I was doing so well 😭#it sucks ass having to take care of myself#I don’t have friends out here yet that I know enough to ask to help me out#and my family is so far away#so when I’m lying on the ground out of breath and dehydrated#I need to pick my own damn self up and go get ginger ale#0/10 would not recommend
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest
like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!
#me.txt#jjba#i'm going to ramble in tags actually. excuse me#ok. rereading sdc and so confused at the general perception of jotaro and his friends/family. he's not NEARLY as flat or as dickish#i understand that the anime (particularly the dub) tends to slander him but even then he still clearly cares for them! i'm confused#i also understand that a lot of people dig against jotaro and kakyoin as a dynamic because 'they're popular' and that generally disliking#popular things across media is a thing that i've seen consistently everywhere but the discredit to them simply as a DUO and not even as a#pairing is so..... odd..... like they're considered to be a duo that clicks for a reason. i enjoyed them even before i got into the fandom#every time i see someone say jotaro is overrated/dull i take a shot and assume they're an anime-only or only read the manga like once btw#joseph and jotaro also have a neat dynamic and they obviously both love and care for each other. like they're not going to go around loudly#or anything but literally the entirety of the lovers and the prelude to the dio fight IS jotaro being worked up over joseph getting hurt#equally i don't know if it translates to the anime as much but joseph is VERY complimentary when it comes to jotaro. like he sings his#praises so often and reminds everyone that he's his grandson so frequently (d'arby the gamer is a good example of this). either way it's so#peculiar....... there's not enough avdol and jotaro content btw (also in canon) because jotaro obviously looks up to him and avdol jokes#around with him on the occasion they interact after their intro which doesn't start very well. it's very cute#i do think an important thing to note about jotaro's character is how he acts AFTER his intro because he's so drastically different. early#jotaro and later jotaro aren't the same character and i do not mean this in a character development way. excluding the jail incident he's#completely different and probably shouldn't really be taken into account (especially considering the amount of slapstick in araki's intros)#and i think that's really???? what people center on for his character? Which sucks balls bad!#anyways. i could ramble more about this if asked i have so much to say but sigh. jotaro cares so much for his friends and family he's not a#flat fully cold asshole character regardless of whether you watch the anime or ova or read the manga. you just have poor media literacy#i wouldn't recommend watching solely the anime for his character though. the dub also changes a lot so it's... questionable#i love the anime and it's still important for him though. also adds neat stuff. i need to stop myself. i have many thoughts on the matter#jotaro kujo#joseph joestar#noriaki kakyoin#adding in case anyone sees: i am not saying that he is perfect about this. in fact he is very ass about it with jolyne and holly and that's#very important. he also is in fact an asshole sometimes. NOT as much as you guys are making him though!#please don't get me started on how much of a dick etc people make kakyoin to veer away from the 'woobified' characterizations of him#in fact i think that's bad if not worse because it CLAIMS to be in character. hes a prim asshole at times but not that angry or dishevelled
190 notes
·
View notes
Text
I do gotta say that I'm glad I have the privilege of parents supportive of me not wanting kids and being sterilized on top of having reproductive choices in general, I've talked about it with them before. At first as a teen and young adult they were the standard "Probably wait to see if you change your mind before anything permanent but you know yourself better than anyone else" reaction
but aside from me being firmly in the same camp since I was like 3 (I despised being around babies even though I was like. 2 years older than them lol, even as a preschooler my ass was being overstimulated and grossed out by them), lacking a nurturing reaction to them beyond the baseline "is this child safe? Do they need help? They are fine? Okay," and me not so subtly telling my mom if I was the sole parent to a kid I KNOW I would lose my mind and end up on the news and with a murder charge (assuming I didn't kill myself upon finding out) hence why I want to assure it never happens,
I think them watching way too many people we know have kids they don't want and the kids know it who then grow up to do the same thing and/or the bandaid baby did NOT save the relationship cemented that "YEAH WE'RE FINE WITH YOUR DECISION. PLEASE NONE OF THAT" attitude
#Mind you I don't HATE babies as people and whatnot they are just not compatible with me as a person and my sensory issues and mental state#I do not have parenting instincts nor the means and energy to raise a whole person I can barely take care of myself#also our genes suck ass#vena vents#not art#half joking suicide mention#I'm being so real when saying being sterile would reduce my anxiety and paranoia tenfold
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
am i so hard to care about?
#i need to vent and i know u guys cant stand me because i can feel it (and certainly from the anon hate) but i think im gonna have an ulcer#if i dont put this out somewhere#SH s*icide tw !!!!!#i need some advice or opinions because i feel like im losing it#i dont understand why my friends cant care about me#i know !!! i know i seem out of touch and insane because i say this so often and the question to someone reading would come natural: maybe#it is just ur perception…. maybe u suck ass as a friend too#and i do ponder about that!!!!!! i take those possibilities into consideration i do. and i genuinely dont think i suck as a friend. i always#check in. if they seem off i ask how they feel. i ask updates on their stuff. i dont think i deserve this tbh#but especially when i am struggling they just disappear#like even when i reach out and let them know im doing bad. they clearly read my measages and choose to ignore them#these are supposed to be my best friends#these days ive been so bad. and trigger warning again#i just feel so suicidal and i have been hurting myself in the desperate attempt to cope and manage these thoughts#and i dont tell them these things#i dont share the details because 1) it is too much to dump on someone and 2) they dont show any interest even on the surface level of my#problems so i just wouldnt tell them the deeper issues#i am just in so much pain. and i also feel a lot of anger because of their behavior. i feel so so hurt by it. so many years of this going on#of them just not even acknowledging my struggles while i was in the midst of them and trying still to support them and be there for e#whatever they had going on. and getting nothing in return#i hate that i feel so angry but i do. and ive been swallowing this anger and pain for so long i feel it eating my insides#even my therapist doesnt understand why i am friends with people that dont care about me#i dont know what i should do#i want to say something#actually i already talked about this to one of them one year ago exactly and i told her all these things and she just said she didnt know#why i was ignored. and then still kept being a part of it#the thing is i am so upset and my mental health is so so so bad. i am supposed to spend new years eve with them in two days but i dont know#how i can do that feeling like this#but if i speak to them about it i think it will also ruin the mood#if someone has any thoughts or advice it would be very welcome….
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yesterday, my 12 year old laptop died.
This machine was an XPS laptop. It was in perfect working order up until the motherboard decided to die. I've swapped keyboards, screens, batteries, and a track pad on this thing, all with the help of YouTube. I actually wanted to get this machine repaired until I learned it would be about 3 grand for a repair that might work. There would be no guarantee and it would be hard finding someone willing to work on a computer that old.
I'm paying someone for data recovery because he can do it better and quicker. When that's done and I have the hard drive, I'm going to donate my old XPS. It can still be repaired if you have the right part and enough time. People do. I'm donating it to a program that takes old computers like these, fixes them, and gives them to low income students. This computer will probably last another 5 years (or more). Parts for it are easily purchased on Amazon.
My new computer is coming today. It's the same build, just slightly newer. It will last me another 12 years I hope. I will repair it as needed. Parts are easily available on Amazon. It will do everything I need it to and, when it's time, I'll swap it all over to a new computer from that same series.
Being able to repair my own machines has made me an XPS user for life. It allows me to save money and cut down on e-waste. So many people are stunned that my old computer was 12 (the one I had before this was 15 before it failed). We are so used to a society with disposable technology that it's genuinely shocking to people when someone says they fixed their own laptop.
But why should people try? So many laptops are made so you can't just unscrew and pop the back off. So many computers are made to fail after two, three, or four years. So many computers are made to force you to buy a new one for whatever capitalist bullshit reason.
I'll gladly pay extra for right to repair and a solid build with easily available replacement parts. That's what's important to me.
#dispatches#original content? on this blog?#kiri rambles#in light of recent events#right to repair#the XPS OS/build is not sexy#i went to a corporate chain to ask if they would run a test i can't#they wouldn't open it up and tried to sell me some $300 plastic framed piece of shit#i don't care if it's lighter#i want a metal framed beast that won't die if i take it apart#besides i already bought one#need to add extra memory to it but that's cheap#i needed a computer ASAP and didn't want to wait a month for a custom build#technically i could turn the old one on#but it would cook the hard drive#all the micro soldering is fried and nothing is communicating like it should#i wasn't expecting it to just go so quick#but whatever#i hate corporate computer chains#rude assholes#i don't like building my computers myself#i have made someone a custom rig with as much memory as i can physically shove into the tower#yeah#that sucked#“adult legos” my ass#never again#i will pay someone to do that shit#i am lazy#and i will happily pay people for their skills
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
#i will warn you only once: tsc spoilers#literally just finished it as i am drafting this its 5am where i live#so you may be subjected to some nonsense#that all being said i have thoughts.and feelings#the kevin was lovely and tasted delicious! jean defending him at every turn even when he swears to hell and back he'll kick his ass#the kevjean was surprising i was only half expecting that#the dog metaphors i have to say i need this one cashed in. nora run me my check#im joking of course dont quote me on it#jean taking kevins promise to the end and living on it is seriously so. well.#'be careful with him' 'take kevin's name out of your ignorant mouth' 'you promised me'#also kevin getting called the court's queen had me tender and on my back oml#jean's relationship with the trojans is sweet and he is very interesting and complicated#a character with many moving parts im sure#there were a few things i did not care for#namely jeremy and the trojans felt remarkably flat to me bar lucas (by far the most interesting) and catalina on occasion#i didnt quite enjoy jeremy's pov and felt like he spent perhaps way too much time worrying over jean? if that makes sense#i wish he had some more complexity to him or really anything to catch a hook on#all we know is hes attractive and smiley and gets along terribly with his family#so much of his character is sucked out by jean he didnt feel like much more than a plot device to me#which i wouldnt mind if jeremy wasnt the literal main character alongside jean#i was living for everything jean thought but had to drag myself through jeremy's pov if im honest#uuuuh what else. neil! funny. deranged. i have to love him#andrew couldnt give less of a fuck about jean which is funny as all fuck#two bugs placed in the same habitat ignoring each other#the thing with elodie i thought was complicated. i wish we knew some more about her or that shed been mentioned a little earlier#but im assuming thats a topic to be revisited#uuuuuuuh yeah so thats most of it. i think my first thought and the one that sticked out the most to me is that the book felt remarkably#pedestrian#not necessarily in a bad way#it lacked to me one of the main appeals of aftg which were the numerous interesting side characters
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m going to be very transparent for a sec. I’ve had two alcohol induced psychosis events happen to me in the past week where I attempted to harm myself and ended up talking to police officers. I’m a recovering alcoholic that tries really really hard but keeps relapsing. I’ve tried AA and therapy and nothing is helping because they keep telling me to look for “my higher power” and I’m not gonna lie, in my opinion, that shit is wack. I’m struggling a lot and faith is the last thing on my mind. Anyways, I wanted to make this post to thank y’all for being one of the main sources of happiness and support for me. I don’t get a lot of people outside of this community that reach out to me when im hurting so im very grateful to have y’all in my silly little phone. I promise I will be back to making mods and what not soon but I’ve been really enjoying making music, it feels almost therapeutic. But yeah, thanks for being here for me y’all. I love you guys.
#the police officer last night was surprisingly very friendly and even made me laugh#I’m glad I’m still here and I’m going to make things right for myself because there’s so much more in this world that I want to live for#suicide tw#tw sui attempt#tw self harm#tw#tw alchohol mention#tw alcohol#also I couldn’t make myself go to the psych ward because I needed to stay home to take care of the kitten#I was bawling my eyes out because I felt so guilty about even thinking of having someone else take care of him#he’s so bonded to me that he cries for me when someone else holds him#I just couldn’t#also the psych ward sucks#and I’m not knocking it entirely but#it really is a last resort thing for me now#after being in one that drugged me up on Ativan and took me off my heart meds to the point where I didn’t remember it#a whole ass week I have no recollection of
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
depression cancelled i cleaned up a small part of my room and also my bag
#logbook#i hsd tea bags in my bag without a baggie bc im an idiot and was walking around with spilled tea in said bag for a month#i have spent all weekend in a depressive haze im so tired and sick. and this week is going to SUCK ass.#its fine everythings fine.#im debating if i want to go do laundry tonite or not. in the process i could pick up some food and things for the house up here.#and then not have to go down tmrw. . .sighs#also my plans to hang out wirh new friend were cancelled. he said he didnt make enough and had to work and was like 'oh yeah#we can hang out for an hour' and im like bro wont you need to get ready for work. like dw abt our hang out take care of yourself#and then we bonded over taking care of ourselves LOL#i think it worked out bc i ended up tsking 2 hrs to build a maybe hr max furniture and then napped for another 2 hours#i was so sick snd exhausted. this whole weekend has been like what if you are never not depressed. thanks man!#i forget how depressed i get at the end of summer going into fall everybodys so up there and im just waaaay down here#but i have managed to do some things. finally pulled myself out to bed. and ive also forced myself to eat so theres thst too.#jk also in case it wasn't obvious. depression still here
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
how do i stop feeling like i'm in trouble all the time fr. sitting here on my lunch break like everyone's gonna be soooo mad when u get back...from lunch...which you are allowed to have.....(?)
#social anxiety kicking my ass so bad every day#unless my supervisor actually says hello you are doing an amazing job today and i dont hate you im like omg she hates me bc i suck......#miscounted the kids yesterday and left one on the playground for like two minutes and im still traumatized#she wasnt alone or anything there was another class w teachers but 😬🔫#killing myself killing myself killing myself#i counted them five times today tho#and the playground was empty which made it easier but ugh#infinitely better than my last job and im actually good at this but i still feel like my supervisor doesn't like me#even tho i think she's just a bit awk and has anxiety also lol#she was reading a book abt coping with anxiety the other day lol#also my other coworker w the drama likes me but the drama is always threatening to happennagain bc she doesnt like our supervisor#anyway#my mentor just got here before lunch for her half day shift so i feel better but aaaaa#way less stressful than my last job tho and im grateful but very stressed lately#also the owner of the school was in the room im taking lunch for a while and im like omg she's gonna be annoyed that im here#she's gonna judge me for having a chocolate bar like a shitty spoiled young person or whatever and listening to music bc im rude#i need to calm down fr#she complained abt lazy inconsiderate young people at my job interview so now im paranoid abt every interaction w her lmao#bc i am a lazy oblivious young person and also i took a sick day my first week which is what she was complaining abt said young people doing#but i legitimately was throwing up i Had to call out#that's life in child care#but ughhhh#i was determined not to bc this is a job where they expect you to come in even if ur sick#but puking is my limit i genuinely couldn't do it#anyway.#normal adult experience#doctor who told my mom i was high functioning i want our money back
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Man. All I do these days is fail to meet expectations and then get upset at myself for failing to meet those expectations. This sucks.
#the dragon sings his songs#blowing out smoke#i'm supposed to be taking this break from my course as an opportunity to do the things I've been meaning to do and I've just been rotting—#—in bed on my phone and sleeping in and jacking off like i hardly even get up to eat or go to the bathroom#side note i know this is a textbook sign of depression and burnout (comma) most likely both (comma) but who in my Chinese family is going—#—to believe that? def not mom who'll just scream at me for not sucking it up and pushing through it and not dad who won't do shit#my grandparents might believe me but there's a language barrier on mom's side plus 公公 seems to think I'm the perfect infallible capable—#—[granddaughter] and I can't bear to break his heart with the truth#and then on dad's side they'll probably be sympathetic but everything i tell them makes its way back to my parents and that'll just result—#—in ont huge blowup that'll drive another wedge between mom and dad. and I mean PLEASE hurry up and get divorced but I also don't want 爺爺—#—and 嫲嫲 to get caught in the crossfire#plus I'm supposed to be helping them esp now that 爺爺 is running out of time as an active able-bodied person but instead of doing that I—#—spent all day in bed. which is not helping my guilt and shame on top of everything else i have to deal with (comma) let alone his workload#today's such a nice sunny beautiful day too which makes me feel even worse for not even going for a walk or anything#it's still light out so i could but sunk cost fallacy is kicking my ass plus i have Mandarin class kn a couple hours#and k know it's a couple HOURS but I'd have to get dressed and set a timer and everything and just the thought is so overwhelming that I—#—just can't. i'd ask to be institutionalized if it wasn't for the rampant ableism in the mental health field plus the fact that—#—institutionalization is just an extension of incarceration#if only the people who have power over me would just listen and actually take care of me so i wouldn't have pushed myself to this point
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
boys will be like "i can't do anything and im a worthless girlfailure" meanwhile they have 2 jobs, are renting a spacious flat, have a cat, live in a pretty hill place all alone with zero financial help from anyone else, cut off toxic parents, are slowly collecting beautiful room decor, dropped out of a degree they hate, pursuing things they actually wanna do, damn this list is longer than i even assumed at the start of the post love and light
#just thought about this... i always focus so hard on the little failures. LIKE GIRL. LOOK AROUND YOU#i got myself here!! i worked my ass off at an internship! i got a freelancing gig AND a job#and i moved out all alone to a place i've never lived before and i wake up to see clouds stuck on hills every day#sometimes the clouds even get into my house. ACTUAL CLOUDS#i have a lovely cat that is so so sweet and affectionate and i take care of her!! im alive!#so what if executive dysfunction gets me into serious trouble sometimes.#so what if sometimes people i never expected to live without still leave me.#that sucks but it's NOTHING compared to what i've accomplished and how far i've come in just this past year!!! okay!!#i needed to make this post. i will look at it when i feel like shit again#saved posts
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
sort of thinking abt. how suicidal i've been since. the move here. i cant stand living here another day if i have to go outside and interact with people who clearly dont seem to give a shit about me n dont ACTUALLY care abt my culture or my people / brothers and sisters im going to fucking pop.
#sowwyy to the arabs and victims (settlers) who are affected by the longstanding#conflict in the region#fisher's lake!#how has anyone allowed this to go on? this fake superficial shit that goes on here in the west?#the fact theres a whole course dedicated to teaching students abt indigenous people but on o./ct7 i get a fucking#loudspeaker message loudly declaring like yeah. and u can suck my dick longstanding conflict MY ASS#how is anyone okay with this? back home we would have fucking flipped if someone said that shit to us#students are literally voicing their concerns back home abt not being able to take action and here#theyre able to but they dont fucking care#im going to school everyday while people of my ethnicity are being killed. MURDERED. and what? i have to worry about an english paper#while everyone chants both sides? we need to listen to the killers perspective too? enough. i cant#nto only that but whenever i talk abt my culture or pass the hallways i always get these like looks. like im taking up too much space#and it feels like im the only one rlly. i cant take it. i cant take it. i am going to kill myself#these people. ma byestehu 'ala haalon. they have no self respect and they have no respect towards others and they are backwards#rant
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm hanging on by a thread, but I'm trying. I hope you are too.
#it sucks it really does#I have to talk to myself like I'm talking to a little kid or a dog to get up in the morning#I go through the motions and just try not to break down at work#I usually break down crying before or after my shift#I'm struggling really badly#but I'm trying#taking every day one step at a time because I have to#I have to keep going or nothing will get better#I get on my own ass about taking care of myself because if I don't I wouldn't#if you have to get mad at yourself and yell and scream at yourself to take care of yourself do it#please take care of yourselves#please be kind to yourselves#keep your chins up and smile babies#abby's serious hour#mental health
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've been dieting, working out, just generally working on losing weight and becoming healthier and I've been able to have the discipline to keep up with it consistently and I'm very very proud of myself
#exercise is a sensory nightmare for me#sweat is ew#and generally I've really sucked at starting exercising and continuing to in the past#but since i got my blood drawn also as a request from my psychiatrist since i take seroquel#i found out my blood levels were preeeeettttyyyy fucking horrid in some vital areas#and thats really helped me in kicking my ass to take better care of my flesh vessel#plus with having a goal of wanting to be able to feel better and more confident in my body in swimwear for when mi amor and I go on holiday#that helps motivate me#and this bitch (i am this bitch) has been doing well#the most proud of myself ive felt since i never thought id be able to keep this up so well#personal#brain rambles
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
god im so fucking tired of it all.
i stressed for days and days about this stupid fucking field trip I was supposed to go on, there was a fuck ton of difficulty finding me a ride home and I had to get a friend’s parent to take me and I rushed around getting my stupid permission slip signed…
Only for my teacher to tell me day-of that I’m not able to go because I lost my fucking teacher permission slip.
So now I’m sitting at school with a backpack full of field trip stuff and I had to tell my mom I’m not gonna be going, and it was gonna be really fun we were gonna go shopping and we were gonna see a movie and it was going to be awesome, plus I fucking adore long bus rides and I had my AirPods charged and I was so goddamn EXCITED.
but now I just feel like bashing my head into a pole.
#i cant even blame someone else#I didn’t get to play in my stupid fucking badminton tournament yesterday either#and my mom and sister had to sit in the car for forever#cause we were waiting for my turn#and they never called me up#and I’ve got a fuck ton of late homework due#that I’ve been putting off#and I suck ass at art#and I’m getting a C in fucking AVID#and I sit with people I don’t fucking like at lunch#and the only person I do like apparently can’t decide if she likes me#in a friend way#and I don’t know what my fucking gender is#and I’m gonna have to take care of my brother this weekend#and I can’t stop convincing myself that everyone gets fucking tired of me#all i do is sit around writing and reading shitty ass fanfiction#and eating unhealthy food#and distancing myself from people#god i hate this shit
2 notes
·
View notes